We were telling you about the Great Sage Sun, who went with the palace attendant to the interior division of the royal palace. He stood still only after he had reached the door of the royal bedchamber. Then he told the attendant to take the three golden threads inside along with the instruction: “Ask one of the palace ladies or eunuchs to tie these three threads to the inch,1 the pass, and the foot sections of His Majesty’s left hand where the radial pulse are felt. Then pass the other ends of the threads out to me through the window shutters.”
The attendant followed his instruction. The king was asked to sit up on the dragon bed, while the three sections of his pulse were tied by the golden threads, and their other ends were then passed out to Pilgrim. Using the thumb and the index finger of his right hand to pick up one of the threads, Pilgrim first examined the pulse of the inch section; next, he used his middle finger and his thumb to pick up the second thread and examine the pulse of the pass section; finally, he used the thumb and his fourth finger to pick up the third thread and examine the pulse of the foot section.
Thereafter Pilgrim made his own breathing regular2 and proceeded to determine which of the Four Heteropathic Pneumatics,3 the Five Stases,4 the Seven External Images5 of the Pulse, the Eight Internal Images of the Pulse, and the Nine Pulse Indications6 were present. His pressure on the threads went from light to medium to heavy, and from heavy to medium to light,7 until he could clearly perceive whether the condition of the patient was repletion or depletion of energy and its cause. Then he made the request that the threads be untied from the king’s left wrist and be attached as before to the positions on his right wrist. Using now the fingers on his left hand, he then examined the pulse on the right wrist section by section. When he had completed his examination, he shook his body once and retrieved his hairs.
“Your Majesty,” he cried in a loud voice, “on your left wrist the pulse of your inch section feels strong and tense, the pulse of your pass section feels rough and languid, and the pulse of your foot section feels hollow and sunken. On your right wrist the pulse of your inch section feels floating and smooth, the pulse of your pass section feels retarded and hesistant, and the pulse of your foot section feels accelerated and firm. Now, when the pulse of your left inch section feels strong and tense, it indicates an internal energetic depletion with pain in the cardiac system of functions. When the pulse of your left pass section feels rough and languid, it indicates sweating that has led to numbness in the flesh. When the pulse of your left foot section feels hollow and sunken, it indicates a pink tinge to your urine and blood in your stool. When the pulse of the inch section on your right wrist feels floating and smooth, it indicates a congestion blocking the pneumatic energy circulation and leading to cessation of menses.8 When the pulse of your right pass section feels retarded and hesitant, it indicates a stasis of alimentary matter in the stomach system with retention of fluids. When the pulse of your right foot section feels accelerated and firm, it indicates discomfort caused by sensations of stuffiness and chills caused by energetic depletion. To sum up, your illness has been caused by fear and anxiety, and it may be the manifestation type of an illness called the ‘Paired Birds in Severance.’”
On hearing these words, the king was so delighted that he roused himself to answer loudly: “Your fingers have brought out the truth! Your fingers have brought out the truth! This is indeed our illness. Please go outside and prescribe us some medicines.”
Only then did the Great Sage walk slowly out of the palace, while the eunuchs who saw everything clearly from the side had already reported the result to the rest of the people. In a moment, Pilgrim walked out and he was questioned by the Tang Monk. “I have examined the pulse,” said Pilgrim, “and now I have to prescribe some medicines for the illness.” Approaching him, the officials said, “Just now the divine monk said that this might be the manifestation type of an illness called the ‘Paired Birds in Severance.’ What does that mean?”
Smiling, Pilgrim said, “There are two birds flying together, one male and one female. Suddenly they are separated by violent wind and rain, so that the female cannot see the male, nor can the male see the female. The female longs for the male and the male longs for the female. Is this not the ‘Paired Birds in Severance’?”
On hearing this, all the officials cried in unison, “Bravo! Truly a divine monk! Truly a divine physician!” Then the imperial physician said, “You have already diagnosed the illness. What medicines would you use to cure it?” “No need to write a prescription,” said Pilgrim. “I’ll take all the medicines you can give me.”
“But according to a classic,” said the physician, “‘There are eight hundred and eight flavors of medicine, and a human may have four hundred and four kinds of illness.’ All of those illnesses cannot be found in a single person. How could all the medicines be used? Why do you want everything?”
Pilgrim replied, “The ancients said, ‘Medicines are not confined to prescriptions; they are to be used as one sees fit.’ That is why I must have all the medicines so that I can add or subtract as I see fit.” Not daring to argue any further, the physician went out of the gate of the court and sent those on duty in his bureau to go to all the pharmaceutical stores of the city and purchase three pounds of each kind of medicine, both raw and cooked, for Pilgrim to use. Pilgrim said, “This is not the place to prepare the proper drug. Take the medicines and the necessary drug-making utensils and send them all to the College of Interpreters. Let my brothers receive them for me.” The physician obeyed. Three pounds each of the eight hundred and eight flavors of medicine, along with grinders, rollers, drug mortars and pestles and the like, were sent to the college, where they were received item by item.
Pilgrim went back up the hall to ask his master to go with him to the college so that they might prepare the drug. As the elder rose from his seat, a decree was issued from the internal palace, requesting that the Master of the Law remain behind to spend the night at the Wenhua Palace Hall.9 After the king had taken the drug in the morning and had been restored to health, all of them would be rewarded and the rescript would be certified to permit their departure. Greatly alarmed, Tripitaka said, “O disciple! This means that he wants me kept here as security. If he is cured, he’ll send us off with delight. If he is not, my life will be finished. You’d better take extra caution and prepare a specially effective drug!” “No need to worry, Master,” said Pilgrim, smiling. “Enjoy yourself here. Old Monkey has the ability to bring healing to the state.”
Dear Great Sage! He took leave of Tripitaka and the various officials and went straight to the college. When Eight Rules met him, he smiled and said, “Elder Brother, now I know you!” “What do you know about me?” asked Pilgrim. “You must have realized,” said Eight Rules, “that this scripture-seeking enterprise will not succeed, but you don’t have any capital to start a business. When you see today how prosperous this region is, you are drawing up plans to open a pharmacy.”
“Stop babbling!” snapped Pilgrim. “When we have cured the king, we’ll be content to leave the court and journey once more. What are you talking about, opening up a pharmacy?” “If you are not,” said Eight Rules, “what do you want to do with all these medicines? There are eight hundred and eight different kinds, and you ordered three pounds for each variety. Altogether, there are two thousand four hundred and twenty-four pounds. How many pounds can you use just to cure one person? I wonder how many years it’ll take him to finish your prescription?”
“You think I really need that much?” said Pilgrim. “But those imperial physicians are all stupid and blind. I asked for such a huge amount of medicines only to prevent them from ever guessing what are the exact flavors I have used. It’ll be difficult for them to learn my ingenious prescription.”
As they were speaking, the two college officials came in, knelt before them, and said, “We invite the Holy Fathers, the divine monks, to dinner.” Pilgrim said, “You treated us rather casually in the morning. Now you kneel to inform us of a meal. Why?” Kowtowing again, the officials said, “When the Venerable Fathers arrived, these lowly officials had eyes but no pupils, and we did not recognize your esteemed countenances. Now we have heard that you are exercising your profound knowledge in the therapeutic arts to bring healing to the ruler of our state. If your lord is indeed cured, the Venerable Father will share in his empire, and we will all be your subjects. Proper etiquette, therefore, requires us to kneel to address you.”
On hearing this, Pilgrim ascended the main hall in delight and took the middle seat, while Eight Rules and Sha Monk sat on both sides of him. As they were served the vegetarian meal, Sha Monk asked, “Elder Brother, where is Master?” “He is being kept by the king as security,” replied Pilgrim, laughing. “Only after the king has been cured will he be thanked and permitted to leave.” “Does he get to enjoy anything?” asked Sha Monk again. Pilgrim said, “How could anyone in the company of the king be without enjoyment? When I left, Master already had three Senior Secretaries hovering about him as they proceeded toward the Wenhua Palace Hall.” “Listening to what you’ve said,” said Eight Rules, “I think Master is certainly more exalted than we are. He has the company of three Senior Secretaries, while we are being served by only two college officials. But never mind, let old Hog enjoy a full meal!” The three brothers thus ate to their hearts’ content.
It was getting late, and Pilgrim said to the officials, “Take away the bowls and dishes, and bring us plenty of oil and candles. We must wait until late at night before we can prepare the drug.” The officials indeed brought in a great deal of oil and candles before they retired. By midnight, human traffic had ceased and the whole place was quiet. Eight Rules said, “Elder Brother, what kind of drug do you want to prepare? Let’s do it now, for I’m getting drowsy.” “Bring me an
ounce of dahuang,”10 said Pilgrim, “and grind that into powder.”
Sha Monk spoke up: “Dahuang is bitter in flavor; its disposition is cold and
nonpoisonous. Its nature is sinking and not rising, and its function concerns movement and not fortification. It can take away various kinds of pent-up feelings and unclog congestion; it can conquer chaos and bring about peace. Hence its name is ‘General,’ for it is a laxative. I fear, however, that prolonged illness has weakened the person, and perhaps you should not use it.”
Smiling, Pilgrim said, “Worthy Brother, you don’t realize that this medicine will loosen phlegm and facilitate respiration; it will also sweep out the chill and heat congealed in one’s stomach. Don’t mind me. You go also and fetch me an
ounce of badou.11 Shell it and strip away the membranes. Pound away also the
oil, and then grind it to powder.”
“The flavour of badou,” said Eight Rules, “is slightly acrid; its nature is hot
and poisonous. Able to pare down the hard and the accumulated, it will therefore sweep out the submerged chills of one’s internal cavities. Able to bore through clottings and impediments, it will therefore facilitate the paths of water and grain. This is a warrior who can break down doors and passes, and it should be used lightly.”
“Worthy Brother,” said Pilgrim, “you, too, don’t realize that this medicine can break up congestion and drain the intestines. It can also take care of swellings at the heart and dropsy in the abdomen. Prepare it quickly, for I still must use an auxiliary flavor to lend the medicines further assistance.” After the two of them had ground the medicines into powder, they said, “Elder Brother, what other flavors will you use?” “None,” replied Pilgrim.
Eight Rules said, “There are eight hundred and eight flavors, each of which you have three pounds, but you use only these two ounces. You are truly playing tricks on someone!” Picking up a flowered porcelain flask, Pilgrim said, “Worthy Brother, don’t talk so much. Take this flask and scrape me half a flask of soot from the bottom of the frying pan.” “What do you want it for?” asked Eight Rules. “For the drug,” replied Pilgrim. “This little brother,” said Sha Monk, “has never seen the use of soot for a drug.”
Pilgrim said, “The proper name for this kind of soot is ‘Hundred-Grass Frost,’ and you have no idea that it can soothe a hundred ailments.” Our Idiot indeed brought him half a flask of the soot, which was also ground into powder. Then Pilgrim gave him the flask once more and said, “Go and fetch me half a flask of urine from our horse.” “What for?” asked Eight Rules. “I want it to make some pills,” replied Pilgrim.
Laughing, Sha Monk said, “Elder Brother, this is no joking matter! Horse urine is both pungent and stinky. How could you put that into the medicines? I have seen pills made from vinegar, aged rice soups, clarified honey, or pure water, but never from horse urine. That stuff is so foul and pungent, the moment a person with a weakened stomach smells it, he will vomit. If you feed him
further with badou and dahuang, he’ll be throwing up on top and purging down
below. You think that’s funny?”
“But you don’t realize,” said Pilgrim, “that our horse is no mortal horse of this world. Remember he was originally a dragon from the Western Ocean. If he is willing to urinate, it will cure any kind of disease a human may have when it is ingested. The only problem is that you can’t get it in a hurry.” On hearing this, Eight Rules ran out to the stable, where he found the horse lying prone on the ground and asleep. A few swift kicks by our Idiot, however, roused him immediately, whereupon our Idiot positioned the flask below his abdomen and waited for a long time. When he saw that the horse did not urinate at all, he ran back and said to Pilgrim, “O Elder Brother, let’s not try to heal the king. Go quickly to heal the horse first. That outcast has dried up! He hasn’t even pissed a drop!” “I’ll go with you,” said Pilgrim, smiling. Sha Monk said, “I, too, will go and take a look.”
As the three of them approached the horse, he leapt up and assumed human speech, saying to them in a loud voice, “Elder Brother, don’t you know? I was originally a flying dragon of the Western Ocean. The Bodhisattva Guanyin rescued me after I had disobeyed Heaven; she sawed off my horns, stripped off my scales, and changed me into a horse to carry Master to acquire scriptures in the Western Heaven. My merit thus accrued will atone for my sins. If I leave my urine while passing through water, the fishes who drink it will turn into dragons. If I leave my urine in the mountain, the grasses there will change into divine agaric, to be picked by immortal lads as their plants of longevity. How could I be willing to part with it so lightly in this world of dust?”
“Brother,” said Pilgrim, “do be careful with what you say. This is a kingdom in the West, not just any worldly region. You are not parting with it lightly either. As the proverb says, ‘Many pelts are needed for a coat.’ We need your help to cure the king’s illness. If he is healed, all of us will share the glory. Otherwise, I fear we may not be able to leave this place in peace.” Only then did the horse reply, “Wait for it!”
Look at him! His front legs lunged forward while he squatted somewhat with his hind ones, and he clenched his teeth so hard that they ground together noisily. All he could squeeze out after all these efforts were a few drops before he stood straight up once more. “This wretch!” said Eight Rules. “Even if it’s potable gold, he can certainly piss a little bit more!” When Pilgrim saw that they had received slightly less than half a flask already, he said, “It’s enough! It’s enough. Take it away.” Sha Monk was delighted.
The three of them went back into the hall, where they mixed the horse urine into the other medicines. They then kneaded the paste into three large pills. “Brothers,” said Pilgrim, “they’re too big.” “No more than the size of a walnut,” said Eight Rules. “If I’m going to take them, they won’t be enough for a mouthful!” They stored the pills in a small box before they all retired, still fully dressed.
In the morning, the king attended court once more in spite of his illness. After he had asked the Tang Monk to meet him in the hall, he immediately ordered the various officials to hurry over to the College of Interpreters so that they could bow to the divine monk, Elder Sun, and ask for the drug.
The officials arrived at the college and prostrated themselves before Pilgrim, saying, “Our king has commanded us to bow to receive your wondrous prescription.” After Pilgrim asked Eight Rules to take out the box, he took away the cover and handed the box over to the officials. “What is the name of this drug?” asked one of them. “We have to tell the king when we see His Majesty.” Pilgrim said, “This is called the Elixir of Black Gold.” Smiling, Eight Rules and Sha Monk said to themselves, “There’s soot mixed in it. It has to be black gold!”
“What sort of medical supplement12 will be needed?” asked the official again. Pilgrim answered, “There are two kinds of supplements that can be used, but only one is easily obtainable. I need six items to be boiled in water, and the liquid will then be used for the king to take the pills.” “Which six items?” asked the official. Pilgrim replied,
The fart of an old crow flying in the air;
The piss of a carp in swift flowing streams;
The face powder of the Lady Queen Mother;
The elixir ashes in Laozi’s brazier;
Three pieces of the Jade Emperor’s torn head-wrap;
And five strands of whiskers from a tired dragon.
The drug taken with the liquid boiled with these six things
Will in no time banish the woe and ailment of your king.
On hearing this, the various officials said, “None of these things can be found in the world. May we ask what is the other supplement?” Pilgrim said. “Take the drug with sourceless water.” Smiling, one of the officials said, “That’s easy to get.” “How do you know?” asked Pilgrim.
“According to the people of our region here,” said the official, “this is the way to get sourceless water: take a container to a river or a well, fill it with water, and go straight back to the house without spilling a drop or looking back. When you return to the house, that will be considered sourceless water with which the person who is sick may take the medicine.” “But the water in a well or a river,” said Pilgrim, “both have sources. That’s not what I mean by sourceless water. What I need is water that drops from the sky, and you drink it without letting it first touch ground. That’s what I mean by sourceless water.” “Well, even that is easy to get,” said the official. “All we have to do is to wait until it rains before we take the medicine.” They thanked Pilgrim and returned to present the medicine to the king.
Highly pleased, the king asked his attendant to bring the medicine up for him to look at. “What kind of pills are these?” he asked. One of the officials replied, “The divine monk told us that this is the Elixir of Black Gold. You are to take it with sourceless water.” At once the king asked some palace stewards to go fetch sourceless water, but the official said, “According to the divine monk, sourceless water is not to be found in either rivers or wells. Only that dropping from the sky and without having touched the ground may be considered the true sourceless water.” The king immediately ordered the official before the throne to command the official in charge of magic to pray for rain. As the officials issued the decree, we shall leave them for the moment.
We tell you instead about Pilgrim, who remained at the hall of the College of Interpreters. He said to Zhu Eight Rules, “Just now I told them that the medicine could be taken only with water dropping from the sky. But how could we get rainwater all at once? As I look at the king, I think he’s undoubtedly a ruler of great worthiness and virtue. Let’s you and I help him to get some rain. How about it?”
“How shall we help him?” asked Eight Rules. “Stand on my left,” said Pilgrim, “and be my assistant star. Sha Monk, you stand on my right, and be my supportive lodge. Let old Monkey help him get some sourceless water.” Dear Great Sage! He began to tread the stars and recite a spell. In no time at all, a dark cloud from the east drifted near until it was directly over their heads. “Great Sage,” a voice came from midair, “Aoguang, the Dragon King of the Eastern Ocean is here to see you.” “I wouldn’t have bothered you for nothing,” said Pilgrim, “for I have asked you to come here to lend us some sourceless water for the king to take his medicine.”
The Dragon King said, “When the Great Sage summoned me, he did not mention anything about water. This humble dragon came all by himself without bringing any rain gear. I do not have the assistance of wind, cloud, thunder, and lightning either. How could I make rain?” “There’s no need for wind, cloud, thunder, and lightning at this time,” said Pilgrim, “nor do we require much rain. Actually, all we need is a little water to act as medical supplement.” “In that case,” said the dragon king, “let me sneeze a couple of times and give him some of my saliva to take his medicine.” Exceedingly pleased, Pilgrim said, “That’s the best! That’s the best! Don’t wait anymore! Please do it at once!”
From midair, the old dragon lowered his dark cloud gradually until it hovered above the royal palace. With his whole body hidden by the cloud, the dragon spat out a mouthful of saliva that changed into rain. The officials of the entire court shouted “Bravos” in unison, crying, “Ten thousand happinesses to our lord! Heaven has sent down sweet rain to us!” At once the king gave this decree: “Set out vessels to store it. Let everyone, inside and outside the palace, of high rank or low, store up this divine water so that we may be saved.”
Look at those many civil and militaty officials, those ladies of three palaces and six chambers, those three thousand colorful girls, and those eight hundred tender maidens! Every one of them held up a cup or flask, a bowl or pan, to receive this sweet rain. In midair above the royal palace the old dragon kept up this transformation of his saliva for nearly an hour before he took leave of the Great Sage to return to the ocean. When the officials brought back their containers, some managed to gather two or three drops, others acquired four or five drops, while there were those who did not receive even one drop. They poured the contents together and there were about three flasks of the rain to be presented to the royal table. Truly
Strange fragrance filled the Hall of Golden Chimes;
Goodly scent wafted through the royal court.
Taking leave of the Master of the Law, the king took the Elixir of Black Gold and the sweet rain back to his palace. He swallowed first one pill with one flask of the rain; then he took another with the second flask. He went through this for a third time, swallowing all three pills and drinking all three flasks of the rain. In a little while, his stomach began to make a loud, rumbling noise, and he had to sit on the night pot and move his bowels four or five times. Thereafter, he took a little rice soup before he reclined on the dragon bed. Two palace ladies went to examine the pot; the filth and phlegm were indescribable, in the midst of which there was also a lump of glutinous rice. The ladies approached the dragon bed to report: “The root of the illness has been purged.”
Delighted by what he heard, the king took some more rice gruel, and after a little while, his chest and abdomen began to feel more at ease. As his configurative energies and his blood became harmoniously balanced once more, his spirit was fully aroused. Rising from his dragon couch, he put on the court attire and ascended the treasure hall. The moment he encountered the Tang Monk, he bowed low. The elder hurriedly returned his salute. After the bow, the king took hold of the elder’s hand and gave this command to his attendants: “Prepare a formal invitation card at once, and write on it such words as, ‘We beseech you with head touching the ground.’ Send some officials to invite with all reverence the three noble disciples of the Master of the Law. Open up the entire East Hall, and ask the Court of Imperial Entertainments to prepare a thanksgiving banquet.” In obedience to the decree, many officials went to work on it at once: some prepared the invitation card, while others arranged the banquet. Truly a state has the strength of moving mountains, and in a moment everything was accomplished.
When Eight Rules saw the officials arriving and bearing an invitation card, he could not be more pleased. “O Elder Brother,” he cried, “it’s marvelous medicine indeed! Now they’ve come to thank us, all because of your merit.” Sha Monk said, “Second Elder Brother, that’s no way to talk! As the proverb says,
One man’s good fortune,
Will bless the whole commune.
Since we all participated here in mixing the medicines, we are all meritorious persons. Let’s go enjoy ourselves and don’t talk anymore!” Ah! Look at those three brothers! In great delight, they went into court.
The various officials met them and led them to the East Hall, where the king, the Tang Monk, and the Senior Secretaries of the Hall were already sitting at the banquet. Our Pilgrim, Eight Rules, and Sha Monk bowed to their master, while the various officials followed in. There were four vegetarian tables laden with so many dishes of fine food that one could only eat a small amount and stare at the rest. A huge banquet table in front was also heaped with all kinds of delicacies. On both sides, several hundred small, single tables were set out, arranged in orderly rows.
As the ancients said,
“A hundred kinds of rare viand;
A thousand bowls of fine grain;
Jadelike fats and mellow wines;
Ornate slices and plump redness.”
Bright, colorful decorations
And fruits rich in taste and fragrance.
Large candies shaped like lions and immortals;
Cakes and biscuits baked like phoenix pairs.
For meat, there were pork, lamb, chicken, goose, fish, duck, and every other kind.
For vegetables, there were greens, bamboo shoots, wood ears, and mushrooms.
A few kinds of dumplings;
Various candy brittles.
Yellow millet soft and smooth;
Rice gruel fresh and pure.
Noodle soups of all kinds, both fragrant and hot;
And many, many dishes so nice and sweet.
Ruler and subjects made their very first toast;
Then according to rank they passed the cup.
With his royal hands holding high the goblet, the king wanted to make the first “Settle the Banquet” toast to the Tang Monk. Tripitaka, however, said to him, “This humble cleric does not know how to drink wine.” “It’s made for those keeping a religious diet,” said the king. “Let the Master of the Law drink just one goblet. How about it?” “But wine,” replied Tripitaka, “is the first prohibition of a priest.” Feeling rather badly about the matter, the king said, “If the Master of the Law is prohibited from drink, what shall we use to pay our respect?”
Tripitaka said, “Let my three mischievous disciples represent me in drinking.” Delighted, the king took his gold goblet and handed it to Pilgrim. After he had bowed to the rest of the people, Pilgrim drained the goblet. When the king saw how readily he drank the wine, he presented him another goblet of it. Pilgrim did not refuse and drank that, too. Chuckling, the king said, “Please drink a Three Jewels round.” Pilgrim did not refuse and drank that, too. Asking that the goblet be filled once more, the king said, “Please drink the Four Seasons round!”
Seated on one side and eyeing the wine, which never seemed to come his way, Eight Rules could hardly refrain from swallowing hard his own saliva. When he saw, moreover, that the king was intent on toasting only Pilgrim, he started to holler, “Your Majesty, you owe it to me, too, for the medicine you took. In that medicine, there’s horse . . .”
On hearing this and fearing that Idiot might reveal everything, Pilgrim immediately handed the wine in his hand to Eight Rules, who took it and drank without saying a further word. The king asked, “The divine monk said that there was horse in the medicine. What kind of horse is that?” Taking it upon himself quickly to answer the question, Pilgrim said, “That’s the way my brother speaks all the time. Whenever he has a tried and true prescription, he would share it with everyone. The medicine that you took this morning, Your Majesty, did contain Horse-Saddle-Bell.”13
“What kind of medicine is this Horse-Saddle-Bell,” asked the king, “and what does it cure?” The imperial physician by his side said, “My lord, this HorseSaddle-Bell
Tastes bitter, being cold, nonpoisonous;
Cutting phlgem and wheezing makes its merit chief.
It loosens breath and rids one of poisoned blood;
Quiets cough, fights exhaustion, and brings relief.”
“Well used! Well used!” said the king, smiling. “Elder Zhu should take another goblet.” Without uttering a word, our Idiot also drank a Three Jewels round. Then the king handed the wine to Sha Monk, who also drank three goblets before everyone took his seat.
After they drank and feasted for some time, the king again took up a huge goblet to present to Pilgrim. “Your Majesty,” said Pilgrim, “please be seated. Old Monkey will drink all the rounds. I’ll never dare refuse you.” “Your great kindness to me,” said the king, “is as weighty as a mountain, and we can’t begin to thank you enough. No matter what, please drink this huge goblet of wine first, and then we have something to tell you.” “Please tell me first,” said Pilgrim, “and old Monkey will be happy to drink this.”
“Our illness of several years,” replied the king, “was caused by great anxiety. The single formula of efficacious elixir prescribed by the divine monk, however, broke through the cause and that’s how I recovered.” With a chuckle, Pilgrim said, “When old Monkey examined Your Majesty yesterday, I knew already that the illness had been caused by anxiety. But I don’t know what you were anxious about.”
The king said, “According to the ancients, ‘The disgrace of a family should never be spread without.’ But the divine monk, on the other hand, is our benefactor. If you do not laugh at us, we shall tell you.” “How could I dare laugh at you?” said Pilgrim. “You need not hesitate to tell me.” “As you journeyed from the East,” said the king, “how many states have you passed through?” “About five or six,” replied Pilgrim. “How do they address the consorts of the king?” he asked again. Pilgrim said, “The ranking wife of a king would be called the Central Palace, and those two consorts next in rank would be called the East Palace and the West Palace, respectively.”
“The titles here are slightly different,” said the king. “Our Central Palace bears the name of the Golden Sage Palace, the East Palace is called the Jade Sage Palace, and the West Palace has the title of Silver Sage Palace. At the moment, we have only the Jade and Silver consorts with us.” “Why is the Golden Sage Palace absent?” asked Pilgrim.
As tears fell from his eyes, the king said, “She hasn’t been with us for three years.” “Where has she gone to?” asked Pilgrim again. The king said, “Three years ago, during the time of the Double Fifth Festival,14 we were all gathered with our consorts inside the Pomegranate Pavilion of our garden, cutting up rice cakes, affixing the artemisia plant to our garments, drinking wine made from the calamus and realgar,15 and watching the dragon boat races. Suddenly a gust arose and a monster-spirit appeared in the air. Calling himself Jupiter’s Rival, he claimed that he lived in the Cave of the Mythic Beast16 at the Unicorn Mountain. Because he did not have a wife, he made investigation and learned of the great beauty of our Golden Sage Palace. He demanded that we turn her out, and if we did not after his asking us three times, he would first eat us alive and then proceed to devour the various officials and the people of the entire capital. Burdened, therefore, by the care of the state and the people at the time, we had no alternative but to push Golden Sage Palace out of the Pomegranate Pavilion, where she was immediately abducted by the fiend with a single sound. That incident, of course, gave us a great fright, and the glutinous rice cakes we ate thus remained undigested in our body. Moreover, we were ridden with anxious thoughts night and day, which led to three long years of bitter illness. Now that we have the good fortune of taking the efficacious elixir of the divine monk, we have purged several times, and all that waste accumulated three years ago has been eliminated. That’s why our frame has turned healthy and our body has lightened, and we feel as energetic as before. The life I regain today is entirely a gift of the divine monk. Even the weight of Mount Tai cannot compare with the magnitude of your favor!”
When Pilgrim heard these words, he was filled with delight, so much so that he drank in two gulps that huge goblet of wine. Smiling broadly, he said to the king, “So, that was the cause of Your Majesty’s fear and anxiety. Now you’ve met old Monkey, and you are lucky to be cured. But do you want the Golden Sage Palace returned to your kingdom?” Shedding tears again, the king replied, “There’s not a day or a night that we do not yearn for her presence, but no one is able to arrest the monster-spirit for us. How could I not want her return?” “Let old Monkey go and bring that perverse fiend to submission,” said Pilgrim. “How about it?” The king immediately went to his knees and said, “If you can rescue our queen, we are willing to lead all the residents of this palace and all my consorts out to the city to live as common people. We shall present our entire kingdom to you and let you be the ruler.”
When Eight Rules on the side saw the king speak and act in this manner, he could not refrain from laughing uproariously. “This king has lost his sense of propriety!” he cried. “How could he refuse his kingdom just for the sake of his wife and kneel to a monk?” Hurrying forward to raise the king, Pilgrim said, “Your Majesty, since he has abducted the Golden Sage Palace, has that monsterspirit ever returned?” “After he took away the Golden Sage Palace during the fifth month year before last,” replied the king, “he returned during the tenth month to demand two palace maidens to serve our queen. We immediately gave him what he requested. Last year, in the third month, he came to ask for two more palace maidens; by the seventh, he took away two more; and in the second month of this year, he came again for still two more. We do not know when he will come to make his demand anew.” “After he has come so many times,” said Pilgrim, “aren’t you afraid of him?”
The king said, “His many visits have frightened us indeed, and, moreover, we fear that he may even harm us further. In the fourth month of last year, we ordered the engineers to build us a Fiend Shelter. Whenever we hear the sound of the wind and know that he’s coming, we will hide in the shelter with our two consorts and nine concubines.”
“If your Majesty is willing,” said Pilgrim, “please take old Monkey to have a look at the Fiend Shelter. How about it?” Using his left hand to take hold of Pilgrim, the king left the banquet as all the officials rose to their feet. “Elder Brother,” said Zhu Eight Rules, “you are so unreasonable! All this imperial wine and you refuse to drink it. You have to break up the nice party! Why must you go look at this shelter?” On hearing this, the king realized that Eight Rules’s only interest was his mouth. He at once ordered the stewards to carry two tables of vegetarian food and wine to the shelter and wait there for them. Only then did Idiot stop his complaints and say to his master and Sha Monk, laughing, “Let’s change to another banquet!”
Led by a row of civil and military officials, the king went with Pilgrim through the palace to the rear imperial garden, but there was not a single building in sight. “Where’s the Fiend Shelter?” asked Pilgrim. Hardly had he finished speaking when two eunuchs, gripping two red lacquered poles, pried loose from the ground a huge slab of stone. The king said, “That is the shelter. It’s more than twenty feet deep down there, with nine dug-out chambers. Placed in there are four huge cisterns filled with clear oil, which is used for keeping the lamps lit night and day. When we hear the sound of the wind and go in there to hide, people outside will close up the hole with the stone slab.” Pilgrim chuckled and said, “That monster-spirit obviously does not wish to harm you. If he does, you think you can hide from him down there?”
He had not quite finished his sentence when a powerful gust of wind roared in from due south, spraying dirt and dust into the air. Those officials became so frightened that they all protested in unison, “This monk has such an ill-luck mouth! He speaks of the monster-spirit, and at once the monster-spirit shows up!” Abandoning Pilgrim, the terrified monarch at once crawled into the hole in the ground, followed by the Tang Monk and all the other officials.
Eight Rules and Sha Monk, too, wanted to hide, but they were pulled back by Pilgrim’s two hands. “Brothers,” he said, “don’t be afraid. Let’s you and I try to discover what kind of monster-spirit this is.” “You must be jesting!” said Eight Rules. “Why do you want to make such a discovery? The officials have hidden themselves, Master has gone out of sight, and the king has stepped aside. Why don’t we just leave? Who cares about his pedigree!” Our Idiot twisted left and right, but he could not struggle free of Pilgrim’s firm grip. After some time, there emerged in midair a monster-spirit. Look how he appears!
A nine-foot long body, savage and fierce;
A pair of round eyes flashing like gold lamps.
Two large forked ears like protruding fans,
And four sharp teeth like steel nails sticking up.
Red hair flanked his head, his eyebrows sprouted flames.
A bottle-nose dangled with nostrils flaring.
A few strands of beard like thick scarlet threads;
His cheekbones were rugged, his face was green.
Two arms of red veins, two indigo hands,
And ten pointed claws holding high a lance.
A leopard-skin kilt wrapped around his waist:
A ghost with tousled hair and naked feet!
When he saw the monster, Pilgrim asked, “Sha Monk, do you recognize him?” “I haven’t made his acquaintance,” replied Sha Monk. “How could I recognize
him?” Pilgrim asked again, “Eight Rules, do you recognize him?” “I have never
had tea or wine with him,” replied Eight Rules, “nor am I a friend or neighbor of his. How could I recognize him?” Pilgrim said, “He rather looks like the demon gatekeeper with golden pupils and shriveled face under the command of Equal to Heaven, the Eastern Mountain.” “No! No!” said Eight Rules. “How do you know that?” asked Pilgrim.
“A demon,” said Eight Rules, “is a spirit of darkness, and it will make its appearance only late in the day, say, between the hour of Monkey and that of the Boar.17 Right now it’s still noon. Which demon would dare come out? Even if he’s a demon, he can’t mount the clouds. And if he knows how to use the wind, he will only be able to summon a little whirlwind, not a violent wind like this. Perhaps he is the very Jupiter’s Rival.”
“Dear Idiot!” said Pilgrim, chuckling. “You have a point there! You two stand guard here, and let old Monkey go ask for his name. Then we can rescue the Golden Sage Palace for the king.” “If you want to go, go,” said Eight Rules, “but don’t reveal that we are here.” Without further reply, Pilgrim mounted the auspicious luminosity to leap into the air. Ah! So it is that
To secure a state one must first cure the king’s disease;
To safeguard the Way one must purge the evil-loving heart.
We do not know, as he rises into the air, whether he will win or lose, or how he manages to capture the fiend and rescue the Golden Sage Palace. Let’s listen to the explanation in the next chapter.